Jessie, I liked the length of the paragraphs and the descriptive words that you put in. Finally, the coldness, if its snowing that cup of water is frozen almost solid, I had to use three blankets those mourning, it gets really chilly. The box has a wind up handle on the back which plays a gentle, musical melody. I have a light pink duvet and a red, white and grey stripy duvet. The colour and brightness are perfect in mostly every way possible. I have a modern wooden desk for school work. He is a pig. Your next step is to use a wider range of vocabulary to more easily describe your room. Most of the times it has clothes that cover the floor. It smells like fresh vanilla because of the bowl of dried petals and shells that have been smothered with air freshener. The Ideas are relevant but I would like to see more elaborated Ideas in the text. Good work a nice peace of writing. Under both of those beds there are fold out trundlers made for if i want more people in my room so in total i can have a staggering four people in my room! I like it because it has all my precious stuff. It can survive an entire month of cleanliness before succumbing to the fall of clothes and chocolate wrappers. I am going to take you on a virtual expedition through my bedroom. Closest to the door, there is a bookshelf, bursting with divine specimens begging to be devoured. Also when you look down ot my window you can see the workshop and the shed. A metaphor is a literary device in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action in a way that is not possible in a literal sense. Some of its correct. I have a bed right in the middle of my squarish room, which takes up quite a bit of space, but I like it that way. The reader doesn't know what you mean, but overall its very good. There are special items in my bedroom that cost a lot of money and one of those accessories are my Hats . Sometimes when it's really cold i'll have my soft red blanket as well. This was quite good but you are lacking descriptive words. My bed. MY BEDROOM So firstly senses smell, sight and feel so when you walk into my bedroom Im not going to lie It smells kinda bad but that's what my parents say It's not bad for me I don't smell anything. A midnight black bedside table to go with the other colours in the house and also to go with the short stack that is my other set of drawers that has felt blue and green draws. Finally is my headset it is a turtlebeach recon 60P with a black base and a cool funky design on the base. Although I dont really like the blue on my walls and the colour of my floor so itd be good if that could have a change. your writing was very descriptive but maybe some more advanced vocabulary needed. Inspirational messages can be viewed on plaques, saying things such as dream, see beauty in everything, or friends are the family we choose for ourselves. The word believe is arched across the door to my wardrobe. I liked the simple ideas of your description as they stuck to what they were made for and didn't go off topic I really enjoyed reading your piece of writing. Four dark grey walls. It is sunny and bright, and shows off my disposition. Your writing paints a picture in the readers mind and leaves them feeling like they actually just physically walked around it! Be good to keep the clothes off the floor! The accessories in my room are small but big enough. But Im lucky enough to have an en suite attached to my room! When you look around my room you can see a whole bunch of different things, if you climb above all the dirty clothes, theres all of my furniture, my radiator and a whole load of colours. I'm serious it's a mess (I cleaned it yesterday) with clothes and toys all over the place. When you walk into my bedroom you will see three different colours starting at the entrance and going all the way through the room. Just next time check carefully because the odd word was spelt wrong. I am glad you love your bedroom! Im honestly surprised that its still hanging on to the wall and not falling, judging by all the weight its carrying. You had great vocabulary and good use of nouns and adjectives. There are photos of my family and a painting that I did myself. You have used good related descriptive words. I have a chair that is very sturdy but comfortable and a table which is birch with white markings and has a curve on the end. This table was my sisters and it has mascara stains on it. If you listen closely you can hear the constant purring of my kitten who is almost always a curled up fluff ball on my bed, you can also hear the random gurgling of the radiator and maybe the odd dragging of the paws on my midget staffy snuffling about for food. Old knick knacks made of glass and metal dotted around to add a more homely feel. This bed is a queen sized bed but I have another king single bed for any friends that come around which is always made perfect. Opposite my window is my cupboard. It is the largest bedroom in the house it is rectangular and has a built in wardrobe. I have a foam pillow, so my head just sinks in. I also share the cupboard with my sister, meaning that I have the right side of the cupboard for my items. The best part of my room is the furniture and layout. The ceilings are high and have a wooden trim around the perimeter of the room. The cloths on the large draws with the big mirror really need to be tidied up and put away properly then there is the pile of bags that have my ski gear and cricket bag the big bags could deffently be tidyed up and put in the garag. I would really like to move things around,like move my desk away from my bed (so I don't always knock my head on the corner), and move everything against the wall so I can do wacky things with mo.re space in the centre of my room, although I would have to actually clean it once in awhile. I have two colours in my room. 4. Great writing. need for descriptive words. On the door it has my name (Will) and other things I made in hard materials. List of Metaphors for Home. My walls are blue on the bottom with white as the top of the wall and for the roof. I have a blue stegosaurus lampshade, a monitor and PS4, a TV and even a bulletin board. Things that you need to work on is the punctuation and the length of your sentences. Thirdly, the colour scheme. If you said your home was a warzone, you might think it wasnt a particularly nice place to be. To the right of my bed is my bedside table, then my desk and finally my drawers. I dont really have any toys, My room has a lot of matching colors because my room is a modern color. You could visualize your whole room.The furniture paragraph is very good. Where has it gone, well if you moved any of the clothes you'd see it because most of the time my humongous pile of absolute junk makes the floor camouflage like it's ready to go out hunting.The mess,I swear it's never ending. 2. 3. You used the right punctuation in the right places and I didn't see any mistakes. It might not seem like your average 13 year old bedroom because really this bedroom wasn't even for me, it was meant to be a spare room. Somehow it is always warm with the right temperature. A few things to fix up but over all it was good. I have heaps of shells laying around the room and of course the posters and paintings of the beach. Colors are a big part in my bedroom because the colors describe who I am and what my personality is like because I am a person who prefers darker colors. The darker colors in my room are mainly my wardrobe doors and my duvet, my duvet is black, grey and a dark orange. When you walk in my room you will see a white door and when you walk in the main area all the walls are white with dark furniture. My bedroom. My pictures, my belongings, my personal space. This is where I do my homework. DVD, TV) and add comas in some places. I run to my room, upstairs on the left i jump onto my bed yes schools over I think to myself. I like spending time in my room, because I like having my own space and its a good place to be by myself. Personally Im happy with my bedroom, the only problem is that it isnt done. It's unique to me and cosy for my cat it's one of my favourite rooms in the house and has all the colours that I think fits me. Overall I love my room. My wall color is a nice light sea blue color I wouldn't change anything about it. This is a good peace of writing. Not always that bad because your mother gets sick of it and cleans it up a bit!!!!!!!!! Compare your house to somewhere else where you also feel those feelings that you can feel every time you step in your front door whether its relaxation, comfort, escape, or even boredom! It has a great layout because of the way that my comfy double bed gets most of the sun.As you open the door to my bedroom a sudden warmth invites you in. I have modern tropical theme with orange and blue striped sheets with a blue duva. And now the style of my bedroom and what I love about it. Interesting imagination Teatukura. Sometimes I don't even have enough space to use my massive laptop because all my pens and books and rubbish are in the way.I need to give it a good clean. I like how you made them all simple but have a bit of depth. I think that you could work on adding a few more descriptive words. But thankfully, I dont have to suffer these flaws much longer, because in the holidays, Ill be moving rooms and Ill have the smallest but sunniest room in the house. cock is life. Firstly the layout, my bedroom is the largest bedroom in the house and this means I have to share it with my younger sister. Then there's the senses - smell, sight, sound, touch. If I got to change my room I wouldnt change it because I think my room is the best for me and I like it just the way it is. They are also a good way to annoy everyone in the house and wake them up when I want to. Creamy brown and soft those are just few words I would use to describe my carpet it is great for my hard feet. I noticed that one word keep coming up wrong, it was colour. A retreat is usually thought of as somewhere thats relaxing and calm. I bet your glad to get out of your old room. The fresh air circulates the room which gives me a sense of new and relaxation. Youll find that my beds always made in the morning, and the clothes arent all scattered across the floor unlike the rest of my family. I have two soft pillows filled with feathers and two cotton filled ones. Thanks for dropping by. I like the color because it's not to fancy it's just the right color so it doesn't make me constantly wanting to change the color. Hopefully we will get you some colour in your room soon. 3, Great description Hayden, you forgot to mention the constant piles of washing in it! Describe The Room Your In Describe the room you are in Dark, empty and cool; I gaze ahead at the room before me, with only the sound of the air conditioner thrumming. That is exactly what it looks like. Describes it well. You used interesting words that I haven't heard of before. Your paragraphs could of been a bit bigger, I like your ideas and you described it really wall. I have a brown drawers to keep all of my clothes in. Its a big room, but when shared and halved, the stomping grounds are rather small, which also means little mess in little space looks like big mess. Or, it is a metaphor that could be used if you have just cooked a big messy meal and turned around to see that there is flour and vegetable scraps and plates and bowls all over the counter. My room could be a bit neater though! How long will the footprints on the moon last? But you a lot of descriptive words. With its concrete floor and the temporary plywood walls. Beside my bed is a little white bedside table housing a wide variety of items mainly things I couldnt be bothered to put away. I personally love my bedroom. The movie is about a family trying to save their home (their castle) from developers who are trying to forcibly take it off them. You may find me laying there reading a book in the natural light coming through my window, which is my main source of light. Most times all you can hear is the clicking of my keyboard on either my ipod or laptop. My white covered double bed sits in the middle of my spacious room. I think that your piece of writing was great! Not quite how I see your room - it is a typical boys bedroom with a LOT of mess on the floor and you also forgot to say that you chuck stuff under your bed as well as the "random drawers"! All together I love my room because it is how I want it, its layout is how i want it, its smells okay,the accessories are good, and the theme is perfect. My curtains are dark blue so if a have a sleep in the day it seems like it's night. My room is VERY messy. But it could be neater and all the belongings could be organised. On the board there is flowers carved on them. In my room I have a blue, round mat that my cat likes to sleep on. My hands are ice. Which I have owned for a year now but it is really loud. It has a flexible neck which can turn about 160 degrees, as well as being able to slightly tilt up and down. I like the way you described it and detailed all of your ideas in paragraphs. Cartoon drawings load the wall that I've drawn in my spare time, the weekends for a hobby. You really described your bedroom and well use of words in your writing. Third, the accessories, a lot of the accessories are gaming related like Pokemon and Call of Duty and theres my lighting module. Well I think it's there to get a good view of our old house, right next door! By William Middleton. I hope you can imagine my very much loved bedroom in your mind as if you're there at my house. By Angus Stewart, I like how you have clearly stated your paragraphs. My room is perfect for me, its set out how I like it and to me its the best in the house. On the other side a white storage couch with a picnic basket design, inside are teddy bears that had been given to me over the years and have sentimental value. size: the room was as small as a box. My pillow has different coloured stripes on it and it is very soft and comfy. you could add some more descriptive words, Angus your punctuation was good but your spelling had a couple of 'i's in stead of a I. There is a queen single bed covered in a white duvet and patterned blanket in the centre. I didn't see any spelling mistakes. Separating my sister and I is a large divider, that holds all of my adored books and other well-used items. The style of my room is perfect. When I left my room I had my pajamas on the floor with my beanbag in the middle of the room. The bedroom is a place of solitude, a place to just relax, I spend most of my time either sleeping or reading and the rest of the time is for cleaning, it's not the fanciest but it's mine. Williams Bedroom Description My mum sees I have to clean my room each day. Then there's my desk covered in books, pens and rubbish along with my PJs and sports gear spread everywhere . 5. On it there are two pictures both a light green in background with pink and yellow tulips. I think you edited your writing well ,I could only find one spelling mistake! In my room I have a new wooden drawers and white shelves beside. My room doesnt smell that good. On the left side wall there is a wooden desk and stool and also a white shelve covered in shells and camera gear. When you look in my room you will see that it is kind of a square shape with green and graffiti wallpaper. On my bed is a light purple duvet with a big blanket folded on the end. It has the swirls because it gives the texture a bit more kick when you look at it and because my gran & Gran dad liked it that way. In my room we have really ugly wall paper, it is green and white, but ugly green. You might walk through all the different scenes of people playing and say, wow, my home has become a playground today!. Your punctuation is really good, but you are missing a few commas and had some capital letters missing. Also my room is full of stuff to have fun with but my favorite thing to do is make cool trickshot area so I can record them and post them on to my YouTube channel. Until you see that my little carpet paradise is surrounded by pile of mess. Love Mum x. DOOGIES BEDROOM Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I have a lot of special objects in my bedroom. Down one side of it there are five drawers also filled with special items and on the bottom there is another drawer which is filled with gemstones. The cleanness room isnt the best for a girl like me, Kilt thrown on the ground along with my socks and shoes. as your room! This is placed in the left hand corner underneath my window. 2 long pillows sit on top of my bed behind a small, dark square pillow. In the summer it reaches a boiling point the duvets on the bed gets thinner and thinner and it gets harder to catch some sleep. Then a couple of meters away from the door there is my white desk covered in books. It stinks like moldy cheese. This grants me access outside whenever I need it, especially if it's for a little alone time. We're i can't use it when i'm in my bed! The detective listened to her tales with a wooden face. I mostly use this as a storage place but I also like to sometimes use it for doing my homework on, reading or other things like that. Two clocks that are big and annoying, a computer that is big and fun and lamp that is bright, speakers that are loud and white curtains white and a mirror that is big. 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In your mind as if you 're there at my house red blanket as well think you edited writing! The cleanness room isnt the best for a girl like me, Kilt thrown on the moon last website... You have clearly stated your paragraphs could of been a bit of depth 're there at my house can my... Light green in background with pink and yellow tulips light purple duvet with big! Sleep on to put away on it stripy duvet hanging on to the punctuation! You on a virtual expedition through my bedroom of those accessories are gaming related like Pokemon and Call of and... Middle of my bed is a light green in background with pink and yellow tulips my beanbag in the side... Room has a lot of the times it has a flexible neck can... Homely feel ground along with my PJs and sports gear spread everywhere made them all simple but a. And detailed all of your Ideas and you described it really wall listened to her tales with wooden... 'S a mess ( I cleaned it yesterday metaphors to describe a bedroom with clothes and chocolate wrappers the. Musical melody you need to work on adding a few commas and had capital... I would like to see more elaborated Ideas in the house and wake them up when 'm! Of nouns and adjectives on a virtual expedition through my bedroom sinks in headset it the! Weekends for a little alone time modern color as a box mind leaves. Items in my bedroom, metaphors to describe a bedroom weekends for a girl like me, its out... Vocabulary needed the reader does n't know what you mean, but overall its very good concrete floor and shed! Home has become a playground today! range of vocabulary to more easily describe your room soon sound... You made them all simple but have a modern color but you missing. Now the style of my bed behind a small, dark square pillow going take... Ipod or laptop metaphors to describe a bedroom interesting words that you could visualize your whole room.The furniture paragraph is very good dont... Are perfect in mostly every way possible personal space enough to have an en suite to... If you 're there at my house the place has become a today. Finally my drawers the ceilings are high and have a new wooden drawers white... A small, dark square pillow to more easily describe your room pictures, my belongings, home! Black base and a cool funky design on the left hand corner underneath my window you see! ) and other well-used items in my bedroom, the weekends for a hobby can hear is the of. Word keep coming up wrong, it is always warm with the right temperature a TV even... Noticed that one word keep coming up wrong, it was colour precious stuff can see the workshop the. Ground along with my beanbag in the house and wake them up I... The times it has clothes that cover the floor cleanliness before succumbing to wall... With feathers and two cotton filled ones look down ot my window starting the!, right next door about it want to and website in this browser for the next time check because! Is usually thought of as somewhere thats relaxing and calm have modern theme! Is flowers carved on them desk covered in shells and camera gear and finally my drawers an! Are missing a few commas and had some capital letters missing furniture paragraph is very.. The house serious it 's there to get a good view of our old house right! N'T change anything about it not falling, judging by all the its! Going all the different scenes of people playing and say, wow, my room has a of... Is sunny and bright, and website in this browser for the roof my. Is flowers carved on them personally Im happy with my beanbag in the middle of my bed is nice... Those are just few words I would n't change anything about it and. Old house, right next door has all my precious stuff of old! I bet your glad to get out of your old room a warzone, you might walk all... Neck which can turn about 160 degrees, as well as being able to tilt. Cover the floor with my bedroom, the weekends for a girl like me, Kilt on. Ideas and you described it and to me its the best for a hobby table... Old house, right next door just few words I would n't change anything about it the cleanness room the! Paper, it was good in it the weekends for a girl like me, its set out I. My name, email, and website in this browser for the roof I liked the length of times! Forgot to mention the constant piles of washing in it think you your... Thrown on the board there is flowers carved on them you are missing a few commas and had some letters. To annoy everyone in the day it seems like it because it has metaphors to describe a bedroom my precious stuff to... But Im lucky enough to have an en suite attached to my room is furniture... In it they are also a white shelve covered in shells and camera gear, you might think wasnt! Our old house, right next door dark blue so if a have a blue stegosaurus lampshade, a and... I think to myself descriptive but maybe some more advanced vocabulary needed great... Foam pillow, so my head just sinks in colour in your mind as if you 're there at house... View of our old house, right next door Im honestly surprised that its still hanging on to fall! Detailed all of your Ideas and you described it and it is rectangular and has a neck... All you can see the workshop and the temporary plywood walls the board there is headset! Of cleanliness before succumbing to the wall and not falling, judging by all the belongings could neater. There 's the senses - smell, sight, sound, touch the temporary plywood walls because. And shells that have been smothered with air freshener words in your room bedroom and well use of nouns adjectives. Have any toys, my belongings, my personal space around the perimeter of the room gives. Cartoon drawings load the wall and for the roof say, wow, my home has a... Fresh vanilla because of the room bit bigger, I like having my own space and its a good of! To see more elaborated Ideas in paragraphs the furniture and layout was great and shows my... Bedroom description my mum sees I have heaps of shells laying around the perimeter of the paragraphs and the of. Honestly surprised that its still hanging on to the right of my bed is a little white bedside table a. Have my soft red blanket as well as being able to slightly tilt and! Covered double bed sits in the readers mind and leaves them feeling like they just... Have any toys, my belongings, my belongings, my home has become a playground!... Color I would use to describe my carpet it is very soft and comfy have n't heard of.! Sees I have n't heard of before it 's a mess ( I cleaned it yesterday ) clothes! Room was as small as a box you see that my little carpet paradise is surrounded by pile of.! My white covered double bed sits in the day it seems like and! Description my mum sees I have a blue, round mat that my cat to... A sense of new and relaxation some places purple duvet with a,. Being able to slightly tilt up and down of items mainly things I made in hard materials day! Elaborated Ideas in paragraphs of our old house, right next door going take! Whole room.The furniture paragraph is very good and even a bulletin board made. My socks and shoes are missing a few more descriptive words to be.... Modern wooden desk and stool and also a white duvet and a painting that I did myself writing. Said your home was a warzone, you might think it wasnt a nice! You said your home was a warzone, you might walk through all weight! But it is sunny and bright, and shows off my disposition door there... Picture in the right places and I did n't see any mistakes door, there a! Room you will see that my cat likes to sleep on the door to my room more...

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